You Might Be A Magician If.......

1.   You pay $50 for a $1 coin.
2.   You drive 300 miles round trip to visit a teeny-tiny store.
3.   Your handwriting is better with a Swami gimmick than it is with a real pen. 
4.   A "shell" is not something found on a beach.
5.   All your friends call you when magic is on TV.
6.   You see an attractive woman and think...will she fit into my Crystal Casket?
7.   While watching a movie or TV, you have cards in your hands.
8.   You always pose for a photo with one eyebrow raised!
9.   You pay $60 for a book and get only one or two useful things out of it and you're happy.
10. Your Christmas/Birthday wish list looks like a magic catalogue.
11. If you've ever been asked the question "can you make my wife disappear"?
12. You’re back-ordered for rabbits and doves at the pet store.
13. Magic turns you on more than women do.
14. You have to do a 20 minute show at the airport security because they can't believe what's in your pockets.
15. You have over 100 responses to the phrase "How did you do that?"
16. You know everyone in the L&L audience by name
17. You're holding a fan of cards in every photo that you're in.
18. You actually want to go to a lecture.
19. You record every magic special on TV.
20. You have a tie with playing cards on it.
21. You get emotional when shuffling a new deck. 
22. You spend more time in front of a mirror than your girlfriend does.
23. You have more than three decks of cards on you at any given time.
24. Your idea of the perfect proposal is Copperfield's 'Floating Rose to Ring'
25. You think David Blaine and Criss Angel suck.
26. You've convinced yourself that feathers actually look like flowers.
27. All your friends names starts with "The Amazing" or "The Great".
28. After viewing magic on TV, everyone in the room looks at you asks, "How'd they do that"? And, all you do is smile and say, "It's really easy if you think about it, but magicians can't tell." And you're really thinking "How the heck did they do that"?
29. You have your local magic shop on speed dial.
30. You can lose your thumb and you visit the magic shop instead of the emergency ward.
31. You pay to see a lecture, buy a written version of what was just demonstrated to you, and then buy a manufactured version of something in the notes.
32. You are the only one of your male friends that has a nice "silk collection".
33. You have so much magic stuff in your room that it’s considered a fire hazard.
34. You have more elastic bands than a stationary shop.
35. You spend hours trying to rearrange the letters in your name to use on stage
36. You ask every waitresses you meet, "can I show you something?"
37. You don't mind kissing a dove.
38. It really matters to you how someone shuffles your deck.
39. You expect people to think ‘it's magic’ when it took you half an hour to set up.
40. You own a top hat, cape and cane and have never gone to the opera.
41. You began demonstrating the mysteries of ancient China at the age of 9.
42. Every time you pull out your credit card you instantly tenkai. 
43. You show your girlfriend the same trick everyday insisting that "I've improved it greatly".
44. You pretended to be insane just to get the straight jacket.
45. You can say "I will now penetrate ..." with a straight face.
46. You carefully watch a card-playing scene in a movie only to see what kind of cards they’re using.
47. Whenever holding a fork or a spoon you have an uncontrollable urge to bend them.
48. You have one or more chipped teeth from biting the wrong quarter.
49. You never throw out old decks because you "can make something out of it".
50. You use lame jokes like: "Hold out your hand, no the clean one!" or  "Pick any card, anyone you like, no! not that one!"